Why do I do this?
Write this blog, I mean. I was wondering this the other day as I got
behind on my self-imposed quota of entries for the year. I suppose
writing helps me sort myself out and, I like to write. I don't like
it enough to make serious space for it every day, or to want to write
the Great Canadian Novel. I write a journal entry every day and have
done, off and on, for much of my life. I have journals piled up in
boxes on a shelf and someday I may go back and read through them or,
once I kick the bucket, someone else may consign all of them to paper
recycling or use them as fire starter. By that time it certainly
won't make any difference to me.
I guess writing is a bit like woodworking: it's the process as well as the end
result that matters. I like getting things down. It's a way of
figuring out what I want to say and also, once I've said it, it's a
way of moving on. I also use writing as a kind of punctuation to say
to myself, this is important; remember this. It's easy for me to get
bogged down and grumpy at the world and when I focus on the things
that are going well, the everyday things that make me smile,
it helps me see the world and myself with a kinder eye. I don't
want to come across as terminally cheery because I'm far from that;
however when I remind myself in words of the 'good bits' in my own
life it makes me feel a better. So, I guess I write first for myself.
Why don't I just
keep my ramblings in a notebook instead of publishing them? Knowing that someone other than me is reading this makes
me more thoughtful and more careful. Is this really what I want to
say? I can't take back the words once I've sent them off into the
cloud. Putting my thoughts in the form of a blog helps me the
check-in with myself on what is and isn't worth saying. In hindsight
I may change my mind but, all I can do is honestly consider the
question in the moment and then let the words go. Knowing you are out
there, that some of you read each post I make and look forward to my
new ones helps to keep me at it. It's about companionship as we stumble through day-to-day existence. We can be in different cities, time zones and countries and still connect.
Thanks for the
company; it's important.
