Learning Sideways

Often it's not enough for me to learn a lesson once.  I learn it and slip into old habits. At some point the universe whacks me upside the head and I have another chance to 'get it.'  I had one of those experiences this morning.  I'm in Vancouver attending a writing workshop that has become an annual ritual in my life. When I first began to attend these I felt almost panicky when I sat down to write.  What if I couldn't think of anything?  What if all of it was drivel? "Keep writing,"  I told myself, "just keep pressing those keys.  Keep going even if you're tired of it.  Change direction and keep going."

Over the last few years I have been writing differently and, as I have noticed before in my life, what I have learned has come sideways. When I was teaching, something in science, music or art would often bring insights about how to teach. Today I approach writing differently because I'm a woodworker. When I'm doing a project in wood I often take time to just sit back and look at it.  I'm not even conscious of thinking about it sometimes. I just sit and take it in. Sometimes I talk to myself about it and sometimes I call it rather uncomplimentary names. Other times I get busy with a pencil and paper and draw out possibilities while I talk to myself.

In all of these activities there is a stepping back without stepping away. I'm still engrossed in the project but I can now allow time and space to just sit with it. I'm finding the same thing with my writing. I won't say that it makes the writing better but I think it makes the process better for me. When I come to a place where I want to stop and sit with it I do. I get up, make a cup of tea, look out the window and then go back to it. It is a less pressured, less rushed way of writing than I have practiced in the past and it feels more sure-footed. Knowing me,I will have to learn this lesson again, but for now, I feel more confident with the stops and starts and with the silences.

The adventure continues.